Understanding the Tears: Why Kids Cry After a Great Day at School
by Janette Saige, School Aged Program Director and former twos teacher
It's a common scenario many parents face: You pick up your child from child care or school, eager to hear about their day, only to be met with tears and distress. This can be puzzling and even concerning, especially when you know they've had a fun and engaging day. Understanding why young children react this way is crucial for parents and caregivers. Let's delve into the reasons behind these post-day tears and how to handle them.
Emotional Release
After spending hours controlling emotions, following rules, and interacting with peers, children often feel overwhelmed. They've been working hard to hold it all together. When they see their parents, they're in a safe space to release pent-up emotions. Think of it as opening a small valve to let off steam after being under pressure.
Transition Stress
Transitions can be hard for young children. Moving from the structured environment of child care to the more relaxed home setting is a significant shift. This change, even if it’s routine, can be enough to trigger tears, as children adjust from one environment to another.
Overstimulation
Child care centers are bustling with activities, noises, and social interactions. Even positive stimulation can be exhausting, and some children react to this sensory overload with tears, especially at the end of the day when they’re tired.
Seeking Attention and Comfort
After being one of many children in a group setting, kids often seek individual attention and reassurance from their parents. Crying can be a way of reconnecting and ensuring they have your undivided attention.
Physical Needs
Sometimes the reason is as straightforward as being tired, hungry, or thirsty. After a busy day, these basic needs can manifest as crankiness or tears.
How to Handle Post-Day Tears
Stay Calm and Offer Comfort: Greet your child warmly and offer a hug or comforting words. Your calmness can help soothe their emotions. Also, leaving them with a toy or stuffy to have throughout the day or near pick up time will help comfort them.
Create a Routine: Establish a consistent pick-up routine. This predictability can provide a sense of security and make transitions smoother.
Give Them Time: Allow your child a few minutes to decompress and transition. Sometimes, just sitting quietly with them for a short period can work wonders. You can do this in the classroom while catching up with the teachers, in the hallway or even in the car.
Listen and Validate Feelings: If your child is old enough to express their feelings, listen without judgment. Validate their emotions by acknowledging that it’s okay to feel this way. Some phrase examples are; “I see that you are overwhelmed, lets take a few deep breaths before we get ready to go.” or “I am happy to see you! I can see that you are ready to go home, lets enjoy the rest of the day and we will have another awesome day at school tomorrow!
Snack and Hydration: Have a snack and a drink ready. Sometimes a small refreshment is all that’s needed to turn things around. You could even pack a small snack in their bag, that the teachers can give to them at the end of the day near pick up time.
Review the Day Later: Instead of asking about their day right away, wait until you’re home and settled before discussing it. They might be more open to sharing after they’ve relaxed.
You might work with this transition process anywhere from 2 weeks to even a month. The first day at care might be easier than the second day, even the first day back after the first weekend, holiday, or trip; your child realizes this is a new routine, and that school is an everyday event.
Remember, it's normal for young children to have these emotional releases. Being there for them, offering comfort, and understanding their needs can make a big difference in how they cope with these transitions. As challenging as it might be for them, it could feel challenging for you too, be sure to work this transition process for your emotions as well; breathe, take minute, and remember that you’ll both get through it in time!
Remember, it's normal for young children to have these emotional releases. Being there for them, offering comfort, and understanding their needs can make a big difference in how they cope with these transitions.
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If you have specific concerns about your child’s behavior or need more personalized advice, don’t hesitate to reach out to us through email or a brightwheel admin message. We’re committed to nurturing and understanding every child’s unique needs.